Versus - vs

Living Together vs. Apart

 

Let’s just say you are in a relationship and the question of whether or not to live together comes up.  What do you do?  Which option is better?  When is it okay to start living together with your partner?  Living together is a big decision, especially when you are not married and it’s even a bigger decision when you are not even engaged. 

A relationship is like a hike to the peak of the mountain.  There is a trail that you must follow.  Either you can walk the trail, jog it or run it, but you can fly it nor take short cuts.  In a relationship, everything has its own timing whether you are moving at a faster pace or slower.  The key is to keep on the right path.  A path will lead you to the top of the mountain, where you will be rewarded but be patient.  Allow the path to direct your speed of travel.   If you take short cuts or force a faster speed than you are able, you risk of getting lost and not making it back to the trail.

It’s a big commitment
When you decide to live together; you are making a larger commitment to the person than it might seem at the beginning.  Think about all the factors not just the idea of living together and sharing a home.  Below I have made a list of what I think goes into living together. 

·         Sharing your space 24/7

·         Seeing all sides and colors of that person including emotional and stressful behavior

·         Eliminating privacy from your life

·         Sharing all details of your daily activities and personal life

·         Learning how the other person functions and compromising some of your habits

The relationship should be ready
Let the relationship get to the stage where living together is the next step on the path.  It might take a year, two or marriage, but allow your relationship to decide.   When you, your partner and your relationship arrive to the point on the path where living together is the next step, don’t hesitate to take it.  Living together can be absolutely wonderful in so many ways, when it’s the right time.  However, avoid letting excuses, or irrelevant reasons become the motive for living together.  The irrelevant reasons are extremely dangerous for your relationship.  They tend to seem rational at the time, but soon after, the relationship may suffer a great deal of unfixable pain.  Try to avoid the scenarios listed below that may pull your relationship off the safe trail.

Excuses are deceiving

·         Saving money on rent, sharing expenses or anything that has to do with money

·         To live closer together

·         To move out of your parents house

·         To try to convince your partner that marriage is the next step
(You will be surprised how many people attempt to convince their partner of marriage by living together.)

·         To obtain more control over your partners life

·         Just because it would be fun

Be ready to make it or break it
When a couple lives together, it tends to accelerate the relationship but only in one direction.  It only accelerates arrival to separation much faster than it would have otherwise.  However, living together doesn’t accelerate arrival to marriage faster.  From my experience and theory, living together when the relationship isn’t ready doesn’t help to bring the relationship closer, but instead drives the partners apart much faster.  When your relationship is ready for the commitment of living together, than I suggest you move forward and take that next step.  It’s absolutely wonderful to live with someone who you love, trust and see a long future with.  Of course there might be issues that arise between the couple when you first start living together, however, that’s where your relationship readiness comes into play.  If your relationship was ready for the step of living together, not very many issues will be large enough to break you apart. 

Hidden skeletons in the closet
Living together opens up closet doors to all good and bad habits.  You must be ready to know your partners good and bad side and your partner must be ready to know yours.  When your relationship is on the path and living together seems to be the correct next step, then take the opportunity to live together.  

Living before marriage
I am a believer in knowing your partner before getting married.  Especially with the divorce rate climbing higher than 50%, it is so important to eliminate any chances of hidden skeleton becoming the reason for your divorce.  This is not to say that any small detail or habit should be the reason for not marrying your partner.  It is mostly to identify the personality of your partner in a day to day basis as it would be if you were married.  (As close as possible.)

One suggestion to making living together better
The main idea behind living together is being open minded.  Allow your habits to change.  Be flexible and willing to adapt to new living style.  Set no expectations, be positive and watch your life and experience bloom tremendously.

Final take away
The most important point I would like you to remember is the more pressure and responsibility you place onto the relationship before the relationship is ready, the harder it is for it to succeed.   Be gentle and kind to your relationship.  It needs the same love, nurture, and care as any growing thing.

I would love to hear what you have experienced in your relationships and how they have turned out.

Nestles NesCafe vs. Startbucks Via

Have you tried Startbucks VIA Instand Coffee?  It's interesting to see Starbucks come up with Instant Coffee after dominating the Coffee shop market.  Well let's test the Starbucks VIA vs. NesCafe.  

I picked Startbucks VIA colombia and new NesCafe Colombia coffee.  Both of the Coffees were "on the go" packs.  By the way, the Starbucks VIA comes in two flavors. One is Colombia - Medium Intensity and the other is Italian Roast - Extra Bold Intensity. 

The directions for both coffees are pretty similar.  

Step 1) Pour the coffee into the cup

Step 2) Add 8 oz of water for Starbucks VIA and 6 oz of water for NesCafe

Step 3) Stir the coffee and taste

I personally can't drink black coffee.  It has to have milk.  Even cream won't do it for me.  So after preparing the two coffees, I decided to add some non-fat milk and a one pack of Splenda each.  

After tasting both coffees, I must say they were both DELICIOUS, but there were some differences that I noticed.

I decided to rate the coffee on several criterias: 1=bad/weak  5=good/strong

Starbucks VIA (Total = 19/25)

Smell = 5

Boldness = 5

Flavor = 4

Smoothness = 3

Aftertaste = 2

NesCafe (Total = 23/25)

Smell = 5

Boldness = 4

Flavor = 5

Smoothness = 5

Aftertaste = 4

From my comparison, NesCafe scored better than Starbucks VIA.  Although, both of the coffees are delicious and perfect for on the go type people, there was one major difference. 

For my taste, NesCafe had a better flavor of coffee and there was barely to none aftertaste, were as Starbucks VIA was a bolder coffee with some aftertaste.  If you are a big coffee fan and like your coffee to be bold and strong than you should go with Starbucks VIA.  I personally like my coffee to be smooth with no aftertaste, therefore I would pick NesCafe.

Currently, Starbucks VIA is only available in Seattle, Chicago, London and online.  It is a bit exensive.  For a pack of 12 servings, it's $9.95.  That comes to $0.83 per cup.  On the other hand, NesCafe comes in variety of sizes, prices and flavors. 

TIP: A GREAT SUMMER HOMEMADE ICED LATTE IN SECONDS

At work instead of drinking hot coffee with milk, I have been making Iced Lattes.  They are absolutely amazing. 

Step 1) Pour the Instant Coffee into a cup, glass, etc

Step 2) Add a very small amount of hot water. (0.5 oz)

Step 3) Stir and add in non-fat milk, ice and spenda or sugar-free vanilla.  

Try it and let me know what you think. 

Summer Look: Liptint vs. Lipstick or Lipgloss

For the summer, which look would you pick? Benetint from Benefit vs. regular lipstick or lipgloss?

First let me start with the summer look of this year?  A summer look for this year is keeping it natural but colorful without overdoing the color. 

For my taste lipstick was never an option.  Usually the color is too heavy for the summer and it adds too much formality.  Do you usually see many people wearing lipstick to the office in the morning?  -  Probably not.

On the other hand, what about lipgloss?  Lipgloss is a better option than lipstick, but the duration of how long the lipgloss lasts on the lips is fairly short.  Lipgloss is one of those things that you apply right before you enter a party, a bar or when you meet up with your date.  It's the one that makes a shiny impression but disappears soon after.  

So, if you are like me, neither lipstick nor lipgloss is the right solution.  One is too heavy and the other I never remember to keep reapplying.  

However, don't you worry.  I found the perfect solution.  

Benetint by Benefit is seriously unbelievable.  It's the best lip product I have ever used or tested.  A friend introduced the liptint to me recently after I commented on her lip color.  Her lips looked so naturally pink.  I didn't even know she was wearing anything.  

Benetint is a ONCE a day tint.  I put it on in the morning with my makeup and even now, 15 hours later, you can still tell a difference. (But only if you new my natural lip color)  I have very light pink lip color that tends to blend into my face, especially when wearing some makeup.  

Benetint gave me the perfect lips that I have always wanted.  It's the perfect natural pink color for the summer.  You will be surprised how much you will like this after the first application. Not only can you use Benetint on your lips, it can also be a great summer blush or even an evening eye shadow base.  Think of it as a three pack in one deal. 

The color that you see when looking at the bottle is not the same color that you get on your lips.  It's more like a build on.  The more you apply, the brighter it gets. 

For the night, you can wear it with lipgloss or just a thicker layer. 

It’s made from real rose petals. No artificial coloring and no chemicals. 

You can find Benetint at Sephora for $28. It's well worth the money.

And MORE...

Even Christopher Drummond in his blog states how amazing Benetint looks. 

http://christopherdrummondbeauty.blogspot.com/2007/08/benetint-by-benefit.html

Try it and send me a picture.

Living Now vs. Living Tomorrow

We all say we are suppose to live everyday to the fullest, but do we actually walk the talk or just talk the talk.  From my observation of many lives of people around, including my own, we tend to live for tomorrow.  What is tomorrow?  Is tomorrow truly happiness?

I went to a beautiful 22 year old girl’s funeral yesterday.  She was such a smart, enthusiastic, loving, caring, friendly, fearless, inspirational girl who just graduated from Washington State University about two weeks ago. The loss of her precious life just made me think.  Think about life, about living, priorities, what's truly important and how fast life can be taken away.  Just in a blink of an eye, before she could even realize what was happening, the car rolled over due to a drunk and angry driver, who wouldn't let anyone else drive his car, and their went Tanya's life.  It happened within seconds and a precious life was gone.  Although I didn't know Tanya extremely well, I knew she was a girl who lived everyday without fear or regret.  In her honor, I would like to share with you her outlook on life.  I think she would want everyone to cherish every minute of everyday and live with happiness and joy to matter what happens.  None of us know when our time is up.  It could be tonight, tomorrow, a month from today or several decades from now.  Not only is our life with an expiration date, but so is everyone else around us.  This includes; husbands, wives, best friends, children, parents and the list continues.

Since we have no idea when our time is up, stop living tomorrow and start living today.  As we rise to become angels, our memories, experiences and love is what we can take with us.  It's also what people can remember us by.  In no means am I or would Tanya suggest for us to feel fear or live in sorrow.  Quite the opposite is true.  Live with happiness, love, inspiration and fulfillment by recognizing your dreams and goals.  Don't live to see the future.  Live to rejoice the everyday journey of you life.  The journey is where the memories are created.  During the journey is when you meet new people, reconnect with the old, share laughs and stories, enjoy the each others company, make memories and then retell them over and over again. 

Take a look at your life for a second.  Are you where you want to be?  Are you happy with your everyday self?  If you had a year to live, what would you change?  

The above questions are three questions that can help us determine if we are walking the talk or just talking the talk.  I have heard many people say, I live life to the fullest everyday.  From the same people, minutes late I have heard complain after complain come out of their mouth. Be honest with yourself.  We are the ones making our own decisions.  No one is here to judge us, but our own self when the time comes.

Here are few tips in order to start living today vs. living tomorrow.  From little that I knew Tanya, this is how I think she would have put it.

 

1. Be yourself, know yourself and love yourself. Don't compromise yourself for other people's acceptance.

2. Happiness is something that you create for yourself.  Make yourself happy first.  Without your happiness, you can't make anyone else happy. 

3. Determine your dreams, aspirations, desires, goals and stimulus.  Write them down and figure out a way to incorporate them into your everyday life.

4. Find some time to devote to your mind, soul and spirit while taking a deep dive into figuring out what fulfills your needs.

5. Keep a balanced life.  Everyday, make yourself happy.  Do something that you love. Do something that brings you joy and warmth to your heart. Nothing is good if it's over done.  Not even the good things. 

6. Cherish your moments.  Make every moment a moment of happiness.  Abandon the negative thoughts by remember that it can always be worse.  We are blessed to be living right now, right here.

7. Love with your heart.  Feeling of love can be pleasuring and devastating.   Both of them end with lessons learned and memories created.  Even a devastating love always has a good outcome.  Many times, we don't see that until much later down the road.

8. Think with your brain.  Life has many options and opportunities.  Some good and some bad.  Some of the options lead down the wrong path.  Think before making a decision and way the risk.  Why is it that when we can look back and understand the risks of our previous decisions?  Why is it at the time of the decision, the risk becomes transparent?

9. With the deep dive exercise, find your passions, get to know them and incorporate them into your daily life.  Life lived through passion is so much more gratifying.

10.  Don't hold back.  

 

If you think I missed something please let me know. 

Vanilla Pudding vs. Vanilla Ice Cream

Are you craving some dessert? I am actually craving one right now while sitting here and writing this post.  I have a no sugar added - light ice cream in the refrigerator, but is there a healthier alternative to a dessert?  

I decided to make a quick trip to Safeway just down the street from me in search for another alternative. This is what I found: A sugar free – fat free vanilla pudding.   Sounds very delicious, but more delicious than no sugar added – light vanilla ice cream?  Let’s figure out which one is healthier and yummier.

While shopping at Safeway for a second alternative dessert, I also grabbed fat free milk for the pudding. 

In order to decide which one was yummier, I had to prepare the pudding.  The pudding took me about 1 minute to prepare and then about 5 minutes to refrigerate.  

Trick to preparing a pudding:  Put milk and the pudding powder in the blender and put it on high for about 1 minute. No need to stir. It comes out perfect!!!!

To test the yumminess of the pudding and ice cream, I decided to rate them on my top 5 criteria for a delicious dessert. (See chart below) The two items were rated on the scale of 1-10 (1 = low/not yummy. 10 = high/very yummy.)

To test the healthiness of the pudding and ice cream, I decided to refer back to the nutritional facts. (See chart below)

Green means good. 
Orange represents a little high. 
Red represents bad.

From the nutritional facts, it shows that both the ice cream and the pudding are pretty close in calorie count.

As far as my opinion on five dessert factors and the overall rating, they also came in very close. 

Since the taste rating and the calorie rating are both similar, I need to find something that will help me determine which one is the better choice. 

Sodium in the pudding is very high.  The recommended amount of daily sodium intake is 1500mg - 2300mg which includes added sodium (salt) and already what's inside food. 300mg of 1500mg  is 20% of the daily recommended intake of sodium.

If you are going to eat the pudding, make sure the rest of the day’s sodium intake is low.  The ice cream has very low sodium in the ingredients. On the other hand, ice cream is higher in total fat, carbohydrates and sugar.  Even thought the ice cream doesn’t have any added sugar, there is still a small amount.  

My overall option:  If you are looking for a healthy dessert, both Sugar Free - Fat Free pudding and the No Sugar Added - ligh ice cream are  good choices as long as you stick with the serving amount.  If you want to pick one, then I would pick the ice cream. However, if you are planning on eating more than one serving, then stick with the pudding.  But make sure to watch the sodium intake for rest of the day.  

The pudding is extremely fast and easy to make and it tastes great - which makes pudding a wonderful dessert dish without a strict limit on the serving size. 

Prices:

Pudding 1.5 oz pack is about $1.50.  Makes 6 servings

Ice Cream 1 pack is about $5.50.  Contains 12 servings

Feel free to tell me which one you prefer.  I would love to hear your opinion. 

Healthy Fats vs Unhealthy Fats

Do you know which fats are good for you and which fats are bad for you?  We all know trans fats are bad, but is that it? 

Recently, I discovered the difference between good and bad fats to only determine what I was eating frequently was considered to be an unhealthy fat.

Unhealthy fats:

All saturated fat, trans fat and foods already high in cholesterol such as liver, organ meats and egg yolks are unhealthy fats. 

I am sure you have all heard that trans fats are very bad for you.  However, majority of the products don't even use trans fat anymore in ingredients. So, that's pretty much out of the question.

What about saturated fat?  A saturated fat is one that turns solid at room temperature and is found mostly in foods from animals and a few plants.  I would like to emphasize this post on saturated fats. 

Saturated Fats are:

• meats
• lard 
• the skin and fat of chicken 
• butter, cream, milk, cheeses, ice cream 
• coconut oil 
• palm oil  

For example, chicken fats are unhealthy fats.  If you cook the chicken without removing the fats, then the chicken will absorb it.  After the fat is already absorbed by the chicken, it doesn't matter if you cut the fat off the chicken before eating it.  It's already too late.

Have you ever tried the whole roasted chicken from Costco, Safeway or another grocery store?  Every week, I bought the Costco roasted chicken, which to me seemed pretty healthy.  Before eating the chicken, I would remove all the fat.  I figured if I removed the fat before eating the chicken, then I wouldn't be eating the fat.   Less calories for me.  This is far from the truth. The chicken cooked with the fat and the skin, is almost the same as eating the fat from the chicken. 

So if saturated fats are bad then what are the good, healthy fats?

Healthy fats:

Unsaturated fats are oils such as canola, olive, peanut, corn, soybean, sesame and sunflower oils. Nuts, olives and fatty fish including salmon and tuna are also unsaturated fats.  These fats are much better than saturated fats, but in moderation.  

This was another interesting fact for me.  I am not a big fan of cooking with oils or using it in my food, but it's great to know that unsaturated fats are actually healthy for the body.  The body needs a little bit of fat as part of the diet, so why give it healthy fats vs. unhealthy fats. 

Here are some tips on how to reduce unhealthy fats in your diet:

• Choose low fat dairy food including skim milk, low fat yogurt, cheese, ice cream and pudding
• Choose lean meat or skinless chicken and trim any visible fat before cooking
• Use low fat cooking methods like grilling, barbecuing, or roasting
• Skim the fat off the top of cooled gravies, sauces, soups or stews 
• Cook with unsaturated oils and spreads like olive or canola oils 
• Choose tomato based sauces and avoid creamy sauces or soups  

I hope this post can help you reduce and replace the unhealthy fats in your diet.  If you know of other food items that seem healthy but are actually fatty, please share your knowledge with us. 

Perfect Person vs. Good Person

Have you ever thought which one is better?  Is it better to be perfect or to be good?  Is it better to love a perfect person or to love a good person?  We always want to be perfect, meet the perfect man, have the perfect job but is that really better than good.

What is perfect?  Is it ultimately the best that can be achieved?  Is it even real? 

Perfect is defined as being complete of its kind without defect or blemish in the Princeton dictionary.

To me a perfect person represents someone who has the entire life figured out without any shortcomings and has no flaws in personal life, work life, personality traits and every other aspect that comes with being a human.  A perfect person makes no mistakes.  Never says or does the wrong thing.  In my mind, this person sees life as a beautiful experience with no negative thoughts.  Can a human be perfect or could it be called a robot?

On the other hand what is good?  Is something good, good enough?  I ask myself this question when I receive an “oh is everything okay” question after an answer to a “how are you” with “I am good”.  Why does it seem that “I am good” answer doesn’t translate to exactly what it is that I am saying?  To me, good sometimes doesn’t feel good enough.  Definition of good from Princeton dictionary is having desirable or positive qualities...  So what is a good person?

For me a good person is someone who has is desirable and has many positive qualities.  Most likely many characteristics are similar to a perfect person but with room for flaws and blemishes.  A good person is someone who makes mistakes on an occasion, but follows up to fix them.  It’s someone who is caring and considerate of others feelings but sometimes can experience a feeling of selfishness or jealousy without triggering any actions.   A good person in my mind knows his flaws and tries to avoid releasing them. 

Although, many of us see perfection as idealistic, I don’t think perfection is realistic or appealing.  Let me tell you why.  I think a perfect person is predictable.  It’s someone who doesn’t make mistakes and always does the right thing every time.   From my experience perfect is quite boring.  That means no mistakes, no hidden treasures, no surprises or lucky draws.  It also means life is pretty much all figured out.  Instead, I want mystery, spontaneous behavior, different levels of excitement, variety of experiences and just a fun person.  I heard someone say a quote which always struck me.  He said “a perfect person is the one that’s not perfect.”  

To conclude, I think we should all strive to be perfect, but not actually be it.  Work on being a better, nicer and a more considerate person.  Don’t figure everything out.  Leave a little for spontaneity.  Take risks when you can and hope to get lucky.  Try to do everything to the best of your ability, but leave room for error.  If mistakes are made, learn from it without punishing yourself.  In my mind, this is a perfect person.   I believe when someone reaches perfection that’s when they stop learning and living.  Work towards perfection, but be a good person while living. J

 

I would love to hear what you think.  Please comment. 

Owning one dog vs. Owning two dogs

What’s the difference when owning two dogs instead of one?  Which one is better? 

If you are considering bringing in a second dog into your family, let me give you my comparison, insight and thoughts. 

When my fiancé and I first bought our Yorkie named Sachi, we were both working from home with very flexible schedules.   It was a perfect time to bring in and train a little puppy who needed to use the bathroom every two to three hours.  While the training process was difficult, he still kept us entertained throughout the day.  The most amazing part about owning Sachi was his warmth and comfort towards us.  It’s truly a feeling of unconditional love without judgment, contingencies, rules or expectations.   

Sachi’s favorite daily activity was to bring us his toys and rub them against our legs until we gave him and played with him.  He usually got what he wanted.  It was so hard to say "no", especially to his cute puppy face.  After several months of Sachi begging for our attention, my fiancé and I started to feel more guilty as we dedicated less and less time to playing with Sachi.  If I rejected Sachi’s play request, he would either try to find someone else he could play with or just get sad and lay down in his bed. 

Dog’s happiness is not based on the same principles as of human's.   If I was to really narrow it down, Sachi’s happiness was based on two things:  1) love and attention for him; and 2) his play time.  If these two conditions were met, his was happy.   

As the months went on, we spend less time playing with Sachi.  Our playtime decreased from the whole day to just a few hours.  We like to go out several days out of the week to dinner, drinks, or clubs, and leaving Sachi at home all alone was even more painful for my fiancé and I.  As more feelings of guilt came upon us, I brought up the question of adding another dog to the family.  He was completely, 100% against the idea.  It wasn’t even an option.  As more months went by, an opportunity came by to adopt another Yorkie name Lucky.  Without hesitation, my fiancé had a change of heart and we took Lucky in a heartbeat.

Adding Lucky to our family was the best decision we could make.  And here is why.

We saw a sudden decrease in our need to play with Sachi, because Sachi and Lucky were entertaining themselves.   Even after a year and a half, he seems to be preoccupied with Lucky.  There are still times when he asks for our attention, but nowhere near the amount as before.  Sachi and Lucky have playtime virtually the whole day, everyday playing with each other.  If they want to run after each other, they can do that at a moment's notice.  Now, when Sachi or Lucky ask us to play and give them attention, we are more than happy to devote our time to them since it doesn’t consume the majority of our day. 

Pros

• No feeling of guilt when left alone
• Keep each other company
• Have playtime 24/7 as they feel needed
• Twice the love and comfort for you
• Twice the entertainment for you
• Same amount of time spent for walking one dog or two

Cons

• Twice the vet bills
• Twice the food and treats
• Twice the grooming
• Traveling with two dogs is more difficult

I did some research on how other dog owners felt about having two dogs over one.  The majority of the dog owners said they would never go back to owning one dog after experience having two.  The difference the owners stated was the amount of time the dogs dedicated to each other rather than the owner.  

If you are going to go through the trouble of having one dog, the increased trouble of having two isn’t much different.  The activities such as taking the dog to a park, the vet, grooming and feeding are the exactly the same, except for the bills.  If you can afford to pay double of everything and have enough space for a second dog, then the pros of having two dogs who keep each other company outweigh the cons of having to pay double.

Smart girlfriend vs. just a girlfriend

Do you know what it takes to keep your boyfriend, yourself and the relationship happy? 

It’s extremely easy if you understand how to be a smart girlfriend vs. just a girlfriend!

I would like to give you five easy tips on how to be a smart girlfriend vs. just a girlfriend which will hopefully influence your relationship in a positive way.  As I always say: if you are happy, your boyfriend will be happy and if your boyfriend is happy, you will be happy, therefore your relationship will only prosper. You can also use my tips if your relationship is a little rocky and needs some love.  

Tip 1: Find a hobby -
My first tip is to find a hobby that you love without being dependent on your boyfriend. 

I found this particularly helpful for my relationship with my fiancé of 3 years when we moved to live in Mexico for over one year.

There is a saying that is so true.  When you are in a relationship both people still have to retain their identity and individuality.  Having a hobby that you do on your own, helps you keep your individuality in the relationship. It is important that you can conduct your hobby at least once a week.  No matter how much you love your boyfriend or he loves you, it is unhealthy to spend every moment with that person.  Note: your hobby can be anything however it must not depend on your boyfriend or his schedule.  It should stay consistent and become part of your lifestyle.  Good examples of hobbies include; playing a sport on a team or alone, taking lessons of some sort, going to yoga or pilatis, or just taking a coffee break with friends. 

Tip 2: Give him the benefit of the doubt -
Have you ever felt like no matter what you say or how much you try to clarify a misunderstand, the other person has already created an option of you? 

This is exactly what you don’t want your boyfriend to feel.  I had noticed a decline in my fiancés communication towards me when I allowed my emotions to take over and attack him over a situation that I had no idea about.   Don’t let your emotions take over.  Instead be a smart girlfriend and I promise you, your relationship will prosper.  If you feel his actions weren't correct, give him the opportunity to explain.  The worst thing you can do is assume and we usually assume the worst possible outcome.  Why?  Why not stop worrying about a situation and wait for your boyfriend to explain what happened?  The explanation usually is nowhere near to what our accusations would have been.  If you give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, he will do the same towards you and your communication will dramatically improve.  Communication with no judgment or assumptions is the key to a relationship.

Tip 3: Be his supporter -
Be your boyfriends #1 fan during the good moments and the bad.  No matter if your boyfriend is just being a young hearted guy with his friends or making financial decisions to better his life, be the one he can always count on.  Be the irreplaceable girlfriend he would never want to loose.  Get involved in his life as far as he is comfortable. Help him when you can and support him when the time comes.  In return, he will do the same for you, but it might not come automatically, nothing does.  If you would like the same support from him, then communicate your needs to him and he should want to do the same.  However, don’t be your boyfriend’s supporter, only to later ask him for paybacks.  Be genuine and he will love you forever for it.

Tip 4: Boys night out, Girls night out -

Encourage your boyfriend to spend time with his friends and you with yours once every other week at least.
Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn't mean you or your boyfriend can't spend time with your friends.  Spending time with your friends is healthy and very much recommended by all relationship therapists.  Being inseparable puts a lot of pressure on a relationship.  Sometimes, it can lead to couples feeling trapped, which can lead to resentment and consistent arguments.  I have seen this happen not only in my relationship but in many others.  Majority of the relationships I have witnesses didn’t survive.  The very few that did, including my own, was due to understanding the problem and incorporating some of our old priorities such as spending time with friends.  If you don’t feel comfortable about boy’s night out, I suggest you to build a trustful and comfortable relationship with his friends. Do the same for yours.  As a result both you and your boyfriend will feel more comfortable and encouraged to spend time with your friends.  Again, I promise you, if this is done correctly, you will see the chemistry of your relationship rise to an ultimate high.  

Tip 5: Be happy, spontaneous and fun -
Who wants to be around someone who is always negative, complains about everything and can’t have fun for even a minute? Wouldn’t you much rather be with someone who is easy going, spontaneous and always has fun no matter what you end up doing?  I think the choice here is obvious.  Then let’s integrate these three qualities into our personalities.  I can promise you, that these three qualities are the top qualities for any man.  If you can be happy with some spontaneity into both of your lives and always have fun no matter where you are, your boyfriend will cherish you as a queen.  Don’t be one of those girls, who complains about everything and is not only high maintenance, but impossible to satisfy.  No matter if it’s a friend or a partner, a negative person has to be the least pleasant person to be around.  I understand sometime we just need to vent and get our feelings out but try to keep it to a minimum especially when it’s a new relationship.  Always make a point in life to have fun and plan something spontaneous at least once a month. 

Nina Ricci Red Apple - vs - Versace Bright Crystal - vs - Chanel Chance

Have you compared perfumes?  Of course you have.  Have you ever asked 20 men what they thought about three different perfumes that you were trying to decide from?

Last weekend, while I was oversees; I decided to go shopping for a new perfume. Here were my criteria:

•         I want a perfume that will smell delicious, exotic and sexy 
•         I want a perfume that will have an attractive smell to others
•         I don’t want something that will be overwhelming for my or to others
•         I want a smell that I can wear out during the day and at night

While smelling tens of perfumes in a department store and trying to figure out which one fit all of these criteria, my mind started to spin.  It’s hard enough to smell thirty perfumes, let alone decide which one fit my requirements. 

So, I narrowed my search down to three perfumes. 

1.       Nina Ricci – Red Apple – a French perfume (about $53 on Amazon.com)
   
2.       Versace – Bright Crystal – (about $40 on Amazon.com)
   
3.       Chanel – Chance – (about $85 on Amazon.com)
   

All three of these perfumes smelled extremely well.  I couldn’t decide which one was the one I was going to buy.  Considering their prices, it probably wouldn’t be the best idea to buy all three.  While smelling these three perfumes over and over again and trying to determine which one fit my criteria the best, my mind was struck with a question:

Why am I the only one trying to figure out which perfume smells the best???

It didn’t make any sense.  How can I decide which perfume is the sexiest smell?  How can I decide which perfume will not overwhelm anybody else?  I couldn’t.

This is when I came up with a research idea.  Why not ask 20 men what they thought was the best perfume?

After I purchased all three perfumes, the research was on.  

Here were my research guidelines.

•          20 men:
•     Fashionable and well groomed/dressed
•           Between 20s – 40s in age
•     Two questions:
•          Which one they liked the most?
•          Which one they liked the least?
•          No names or brands of the perfume were going to be disclosed

After conducting my little research, the results were in. 

Majority of the men thought Chanel Chance was the best and the sexiest perfume.  The least chosen perfume out of the three was Versace Bright Crystal.  Nina Ricci came in second almost tying to Chanel Chance.  The results were a bit shocking.  Chanel wasn’t the one that I expected to come in at the top of the list.

As for my preference, I would recommend Nina Ricci the Red Apple.  Its smell is absolutely beautiful, light and elegant. You can wear it all day starting from work and finishing the evening at a lounge.   Either way, you can’t go wrong with Chanel Chance or Nina Ricci.