Life at its best

Living Together vs. Apart

 

Let’s just say you are in a relationship and the question of whether or not to live together comes up.  What do you do?  Which option is better?  When is it okay to start living together with your partner?  Living together is a big decision, especially when you are not married and it’s even a bigger decision when you are not even engaged. 

A relationship is like a hike to the peak of the mountain.  There is a trail that you must follow.  Either you can walk the trail, jog it or run it, but you can fly it nor take short cuts.  In a relationship, everything has its own timing whether you are moving at a faster pace or slower.  The key is to keep on the right path.  A path will lead you to the top of the mountain, where you will be rewarded but be patient.  Allow the path to direct your speed of travel.   If you take short cuts or force a faster speed than you are able, you risk of getting lost and not making it back to the trail.

It’s a big commitment
When you decide to live together; you are making a larger commitment to the person than it might seem at the beginning.  Think about all the factors not just the idea of living together and sharing a home.  Below I have made a list of what I think goes into living together. 

·         Sharing your space 24/7

·         Seeing all sides and colors of that person including emotional and stressful behavior

·         Eliminating privacy from your life

·         Sharing all details of your daily activities and personal life

·         Learning how the other person functions and compromising some of your habits

The relationship should be ready
Let the relationship get to the stage where living together is the next step on the path.  It might take a year, two or marriage, but allow your relationship to decide.   When you, your partner and your relationship arrive to the point on the path where living together is the next step, don’t hesitate to take it.  Living together can be absolutely wonderful in so many ways, when it’s the right time.  However, avoid letting excuses, or irrelevant reasons become the motive for living together.  The irrelevant reasons are extremely dangerous for your relationship.  They tend to seem rational at the time, but soon after, the relationship may suffer a great deal of unfixable pain.  Try to avoid the scenarios listed below that may pull your relationship off the safe trail.

Excuses are deceiving

·         Saving money on rent, sharing expenses or anything that has to do with money

·         To live closer together

·         To move out of your parents house

·         To try to convince your partner that marriage is the next step
(You will be surprised how many people attempt to convince their partner of marriage by living together.)

·         To obtain more control over your partners life

·         Just because it would be fun

Be ready to make it or break it
When a couple lives together, it tends to accelerate the relationship but only in one direction.  It only accelerates arrival to separation much faster than it would have otherwise.  However, living together doesn’t accelerate arrival to marriage faster.  From my experience and theory, living together when the relationship isn’t ready doesn’t help to bring the relationship closer, but instead drives the partners apart much faster.  When your relationship is ready for the commitment of living together, than I suggest you move forward and take that next step.  It’s absolutely wonderful to live with someone who you love, trust and see a long future with.  Of course there might be issues that arise between the couple when you first start living together, however, that’s where your relationship readiness comes into play.  If your relationship was ready for the step of living together, not very many issues will be large enough to break you apart. 

Hidden skeletons in the closet
Living together opens up closet doors to all good and bad habits.  You must be ready to know your partners good and bad side and your partner must be ready to know yours.  When your relationship is on the path and living together seems to be the correct next step, then take the opportunity to live together.  

Living before marriage
I am a believer in knowing your partner before getting married.  Especially with the divorce rate climbing higher than 50%, it is so important to eliminate any chances of hidden skeleton becoming the reason for your divorce.  This is not to say that any small detail or habit should be the reason for not marrying your partner.  It is mostly to identify the personality of your partner in a day to day basis as it would be if you were married.  (As close as possible.)

One suggestion to making living together better
The main idea behind living together is being open minded.  Allow your habits to change.  Be flexible and willing to adapt to new living style.  Set no expectations, be positive and watch your life and experience bloom tremendously.

Final take away
The most important point I would like you to remember is the more pressure and responsibility you place onto the relationship before the relationship is ready, the harder it is for it to succeed.   Be gentle and kind to your relationship.  It needs the same love, nurture, and care as any growing thing.

I would love to hear what you have experienced in your relationships and how they have turned out.

Nestles NesCafe vs. Startbucks Via

Have you tried Startbucks VIA Instand Coffee?  It's interesting to see Starbucks come up with Instant Coffee after dominating the Coffee shop market.  Well let's test the Starbucks VIA vs. NesCafe.  

I picked Startbucks VIA colombia and new NesCafe Colombia coffee.  Both of the Coffees were "on the go" packs.  By the way, the Starbucks VIA comes in two flavors. One is Colombia - Medium Intensity and the other is Italian Roast - Extra Bold Intensity. 

The directions for both coffees are pretty similar.  

Step 1) Pour the coffee into the cup

Step 2) Add 8 oz of water for Starbucks VIA and 6 oz of water for NesCafe

Step 3) Stir the coffee and taste

I personally can't drink black coffee.  It has to have milk.  Even cream won't do it for me.  So after preparing the two coffees, I decided to add some non-fat milk and a one pack of Splenda each.  

After tasting both coffees, I must say they were both DELICIOUS, but there were some differences that I noticed.

I decided to rate the coffee on several criterias: 1=bad/weak  5=good/strong

Starbucks VIA (Total = 19/25)

Smell = 5

Boldness = 5

Flavor = 4

Smoothness = 3

Aftertaste = 2

NesCafe (Total = 23/25)

Smell = 5

Boldness = 4

Flavor = 5

Smoothness = 5

Aftertaste = 4

From my comparison, NesCafe scored better than Starbucks VIA.  Although, both of the coffees are delicious and perfect for on the go type people, there was one major difference. 

For my taste, NesCafe had a better flavor of coffee and there was barely to none aftertaste, were as Starbucks VIA was a bolder coffee with some aftertaste.  If you are a big coffee fan and like your coffee to be bold and strong than you should go with Starbucks VIA.  I personally like my coffee to be smooth with no aftertaste, therefore I would pick NesCafe.

Currently, Starbucks VIA is only available in Seattle, Chicago, London and online.  It is a bit exensive.  For a pack of 12 servings, it's $9.95.  That comes to $0.83 per cup.  On the other hand, NesCafe comes in variety of sizes, prices and flavors. 

TIP: A GREAT SUMMER HOMEMADE ICED LATTE IN SECONDS

At work instead of drinking hot coffee with milk, I have been making Iced Lattes.  They are absolutely amazing. 

Step 1) Pour the Instant Coffee into a cup, glass, etc

Step 2) Add a very small amount of hot water. (0.5 oz)

Step 3) Stir and add in non-fat milk, ice and spenda or sugar-free vanilla.  

Try it and let me know what you think. 

Summer Look: Liptint vs. Lipstick or Lipgloss

For the summer, which look would you pick? Benetint from Benefit vs. regular lipstick or lipgloss?

First let me start with the summer look of this year?  A summer look for this year is keeping it natural but colorful without overdoing the color. 

For my taste lipstick was never an option.  Usually the color is too heavy for the summer and it adds too much formality.  Do you usually see many people wearing lipstick to the office in the morning?  -  Probably not.

On the other hand, what about lipgloss?  Lipgloss is a better option than lipstick, but the duration of how long the lipgloss lasts on the lips is fairly short.  Lipgloss is one of those things that you apply right before you enter a party, a bar or when you meet up with your date.  It's the one that makes a shiny impression but disappears soon after.  

So, if you are like me, neither lipstick nor lipgloss is the right solution.  One is too heavy and the other I never remember to keep reapplying.  

However, don't you worry.  I found the perfect solution.  

Benetint by Benefit is seriously unbelievable.  It's the best lip product I have ever used or tested.  A friend introduced the liptint to me recently after I commented on her lip color.  Her lips looked so naturally pink.  I didn't even know she was wearing anything.  

Benetint is a ONCE a day tint.  I put it on in the morning with my makeup and even now, 15 hours later, you can still tell a difference. (But only if you new my natural lip color)  I have very light pink lip color that tends to blend into my face, especially when wearing some makeup.  

Benetint gave me the perfect lips that I have always wanted.  It's the perfect natural pink color for the summer.  You will be surprised how much you will like this after the first application. Not only can you use Benetint on your lips, it can also be a great summer blush or even an evening eye shadow base.  Think of it as a three pack in one deal. 

The color that you see when looking at the bottle is not the same color that you get on your lips.  It's more like a build on.  The more you apply, the brighter it gets. 

For the night, you can wear it with lipgloss or just a thicker layer. 

It’s made from real rose petals. No artificial coloring and no chemicals. 

You can find Benetint at Sephora for $28. It's well worth the money.

And MORE...

Even Christopher Drummond in his blog states how amazing Benetint looks. 

http://christopherdrummondbeauty.blogspot.com/2007/08/benetint-by-benefit.html

Try it and send me a picture.