Do you know what it takes to keep your boyfriend, yourself and the
relationship happy?
It’s extremely easy if you understand how to be a smart girlfriend
vs. just a girlfriend!
I would like to give you five easy tips
on how to be a smart girlfriend vs. just a girlfriend which will hopefully
influence your relationship in a positive way. As I always say: if you
are happy, your boyfriend will be happy and if your boyfriend is happy, you
will be happy, therefore your relationship will only prosper. You can also use
my tips if your relationship is a little rocky and needs some love.
Tip 1: Find a hobby -
My first tip is to find a hobby that you love
without being dependent on your boyfriend.
I found this particularly helpful for my relationship with my fiancé of 3 years when we moved to live in Mexico for over one year.
There is a saying that is so true.
When you are in a relationship both people still have to retain their
identity and individuality. Having a hobby that you do on your own, helps
you keep your individuality in the relationship. It is important that you can conduct
your hobby at least once a week. No matter how much you love your
boyfriend or he loves you, it is unhealthy to spend every moment with that
person. Note: your hobby can be anything
however it must not depend on your boyfriend or his schedule. It should stay consistent and become part of
your lifestyle. Good examples of hobbies
include; playing a sport on a team or alone, taking lessons of some sort, going
to yoga or pilatis, or just taking a coffee break with friends.
Tip 2: Give him the benefit of the doubt -
Have you ever felt like no matter what you say or
how much you try to clarify a misunderstand, the other person has already
created an option of you?
This is exactly what you don’t want
your boyfriend to feel. I had noticed a
decline in my fiancés communication towards me when I allowed my emotions to
take over and attack him over a situation that I had no idea about. Don’t let your emotions take over. Instead be a smart girlfriend and I promise
you, your relationship will prosper. If you
feel his actions weren't correct, give him the opportunity to explain. The worst thing you can do is assume and we
usually assume the worst possible outcome.
Why? Why not stop worrying about
a situation and wait for your boyfriend to explain what happened? The explanation usually is nowhere near to
what our accusations would have been. If
you give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, he will do the same towards
you and your communication will dramatically improve. Communication with no judgment or assumptions
is the key to a relationship.
Tip 3: Be
his supporter -
Be your boyfriends #1 fan during the good
moments and the bad. No matter if your
boyfriend is just being a young hearted guy with his friends or making
financial decisions to better his life, be the one he can always count on. Be the irreplaceable girlfriend he would
never want to loose. Get involved in his
life as far as he is comfortable. Help him when you can and support him when
the time comes. In return, he will do
the same for you, but it might not come automatically, nothing does. If you would like the same support from him,
then communicate your needs to him and he should want to do the same. However, don’t be your boyfriend’s supporter,
only to later ask him for paybacks. Be
genuine and he will love you forever for it.
Tip 4: Boys
night out, Girls night out -
Encourage your boyfriend to spend time
with his friends and you with yours once every other week at least.
Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn't
mean you or your boyfriend can't spend time with your friends. Spending
time with your friends is healthy and very much recommended by all relationship
therapists. Being inseparable puts a lot
of pressure on a relationship.
Sometimes, it can lead to couples feeling trapped, which can lead to resentment
and consistent arguments. I have seen
this happen not only in my relationship but in many others. Majority of the relationships I have
witnesses didn’t survive. The very few
that did, including my own, was due to understanding the problem and
incorporating some of our old priorities such as spending time with
friends. If you don’t feel comfortable
about boy’s night out, I suggest you to build a trustful and comfortable
relationship with his friends. Do the same for yours. As a result both you and your boyfriend will
feel more comfortable and encouraged to spend time with your friends. Again, I promise you, if this is done correctly,
you will see the chemistry of your relationship rise to an ultimate high.
Tip 5: Be
happy, spontaneous and fun -
Who wants to be around someone who is always
negative, complains about everything and can’t have fun for even a minute? Wouldn’t
you much rather be with someone who is easy going, spontaneous and always has
fun no matter what you end up doing? I
think the choice here is obvious. Then
let’s integrate these three qualities into our personalities. I can promise you, that these three qualities
are the top qualities for any man. If
you can be happy with some spontaneity into both of your lives and always have
fun no matter where you are, your boyfriend will cherish you as a queen. Don’t be one of those girls, who complains
about everything and is not only high maintenance, but impossible to
satisfy. No matter if it’s a friend or a
partner, a negative person has to be the least pleasant person to be around. I understand sometime we just need to vent and
get our feelings out but try to keep it to a minimum especially when it’s a new
relationship. Always make a point in
life to have fun and plan something spontaneous at least once a month.
